Please don’t let me forget what you looked like
When I look at you I see your wonderful smile, your sense of fun, and this jumping bunny of a toddler that my husband and I have created and brought up. It is really wonderful to see, and although you test me some days, most of time we have so much fun on the days that we have together.
However I can feel these days slipping away. With a new baby on the way, something I have no idea how you will react to. It has made me realise that when I think back to you being a newborn, 6 months old or a year old I struggle to remember what you looked like, how you behaved and acted, and those little coo-ing baby noises you made. Only a picture will bring back the memories, and even then when I look at pictures of you I still struggle to remember what you actually looked like or did. Somehow a picture doesn’t seem to suffice, it only captures a moment and not actual life.
I wonder if this is normal to forget what you looked like? I don’t mean this entirely, but more I have forgotten the little intricacies and behaviours. Spending every minute of the day with you means I don’t necessarily see all the changes to your face, it happens gradually, and I think this is why I find it hard to remember what you looked like a year ago, as I am so focused on what you look like now.
I wonder if my parents still remember what I looked like when I was younger, instead of having to turn to a photo?
To be honest it scares me a little. It scares me how quickly time is going. How you will be three years old, and how it will have been three years since you were born. Those three years have passed by in the blink of an eye. I certainly know what people mean by the saying “The days are long, but the years are short”.
It has made me wake up a little, and made me live a little more in the present. Taking you all in, as you won’t be small forever. Next September you will start school, and just that alone makes me worry. I know that you will be fine, you love nursery, but I wonder how you will cope being in school for five days a week. It will be a lovely break for me, but at the same time I know that I will miss you, and part of me will want you to return back to the baby and toddler days.
One thing I do know is that I need to be better at creating photo albums, which will give me no excuse to forget what you looked like. It’s all well and good having photos on my phone, or on Facebook or Instagram, or this blog of mine. But that’s only a snapshot and doesn’t capture everything. So I’ve made a pact with myself, that each year I will put together a photograph album of you, for you.
Just looking back through your 1st year album brought back a ton of memories, you loved looking through it together, and often wondering who the tiny baby was in the photos. It was you. So just as much as it’s vital for me to have those memories, it’s also vital for you too.
I hope that as time passes I don’t forget what you looked like when you were two, or when you take my hand to play with your dolls house, or when you constantly badger me for food in the kitchen.
Your childhood is so short, and with a new baby soon to arrive, it’s more important than ever that I dedicate time for you, and we have fun together before the carnage of a newborn hits the scene. But more importantly I need to really capture these days, and etch them permanently into my memory before they disappear for good.
Mummy x
25 Comments
Rachel Evans
I completely understand how you feel. My twins turned 2 last week and I panicked as I feel that I can’t really remember my eldest when he was 2! He’s now 5 and his toddler days seem such a long time ago.
Time really does go too fast! X
RACHEL BUSTIN
I’m with you on this one. My 2 year old is growing so fast, I’m always looking back at her baby photos on my phone and thinking about the new baby on the way.
Kayleigh
I feel like this about my children, especially having 3 girls I do sometimes forget who did what first. and the photo albums… honestly I haven’t printed out a single picture since my youngest was born (she’s only 10 months but still!) I used to love looking at photo albums of me when I was a baby and I want my daughters to be able to do that to. you have inspired me to get printing! #fortheloveofBLOG
Daydreams of a mum
Aawww I have this now my elder 3 are teenagers I’m sometimes surprised to see them as babies in pictures because I can’t remember every single second or moment #fortheloveofBLOG
Michaela - The Mummy Diaries
I was exactly the same when I had Alfie, I just couldn’t remember Heidi ever being that small, unless I looked at pictures. I often just get my memory books out of Heidi and love reminiscing. Also every time I look at Alfie I see Heidi as a baby and the memories come flooding back #fortheloveofBLOG
Briony
Oh I hear you. I almost feel like I’ve had several children. Baby L. Toddler L. Small child L. All completely different and separate from the other but yet the same. It goes too fast. Judy breathe it in while you can #fortheloveofBLOG
The Rhyming Mum
Lovely post. I feel like this too. Time is going so fast. #fortheloveofblog
Tracy Albiero
I was just looking at pictures of my little one and noticing how much she has changed. Her sweet cheeks have lost their chub. Her hair is now golden and less red. Brings tears to my eyes to see her grow and change. #fortheloveofblog
Sara @ Magical Mama Blog
This is too true! Mine is barely one and a half and seeing pictures of her from just months ago is mind blowing to me! I’m so glad we have the technology to keep all of these sweet memories but it’s a great reminder to stay preset and enjoy your kids!
#fortheloveofblog
The Squirmy Popple
I know how you feel – I’m always surprised when I look at old photos of my daughter to see how much she has grown. When you see them every day, you don’t realise how much they’re changing. I should really make an album too. #fortheloveofBLOG
Fancy
I am so grateful for modern technology that saves these moments. I cannot believe how quickly I forget. Exciting times for you x #fortheloveBLOG
This Scribbler Mum
I understand what you mean. I think everyday there’s always that moment where I pause and think how my babies have changed. #fortheloveofblog
Michelle | The Willow Tree
Ah i know exactly what you mean. Do we remember everything? No but taking videos and lots of photos brings back many memories that you may forget. I also keep a diary of special moments. Making a photo album is a lovely momentum – you can get great apps to do it for you! #fortheloveofblog
Tracey Abrahams
I know where you’re coming from here. As the mum of grown children there are many things ive forgotten over the years that are only bought to mind when looking at photos. I would suggest adding videos as well as photos to keep those memories vivid.
#fortheloveofblog
Kate
I always feel terribly guilty when I realised I’ve forgotten things already. The other day I realised I’d forgotten my son”s first word – how awful is that?!?!! xx #fortheloveofBLOG
Mum OverRun. Sarah Aslett
You know its funny but you will remember a lot more about the first when the second comes along! My second is now 6 months old and we have been reminded so much of our first by her. Things we had “forgotten” have come back, like how he used to sleep or weaning him. I guess a lot of things you don’t forget or lose – you just need to be reminded #fortheloveofBLOG
Clare
Omg that made me all emotional. They do grow up so quickly, Freddie is 8 now and he is starting to look like a big boy rather than my baby. One thing I always do is make an annual photo book of our memories from the year before, so we always look at them to remember what we did.
Kate Holmes
You will never forget in your heart and I guess us bloggers and social media folks have more records than most. #fortheloveofblog
Mummy Nuthatch
Ah so much love for this, totally know what you mean. My baby is only 5 months old and I’ve already got over 1000 photos of him because I’m so desperate to treasure every smile.
#fortheloveofBLOG
Noleen Miller
Take as much photos as you can as they grow so quickly. It’s amazing how they change and the grow spurts they go through. I love capturing my kids which is ultimately memories that we can treasure. Just the other day my mom came with some photos that she found of when my sister and I were kids. It just brought back so many beautiful memories and reminded me of what I looked like when I was younger. Good luck with the new arrival and hoping that your eldest will adjust to the change in family dynamics.#fortheloveofblog
Rachel | Kids, Cuddles and Muddy Puddles
Well, this made me cry! I can totally relate…and now I feel a little less mum guilt that I’m not the only one who feels like this! #fortheloveofBLOG
Amy - The Rolling Baby
This is such a beautiful post. I already can’t remember what my now 10 month old looked like when she was born. I have the photos but I don’t recall her looking so different to how she does now #fortheloveofBLOG
Helena
It pains me that I struggle to visualise my girls as newborns and don’t notice them growing up until I look back on photos past. #fortheloveofBLOG
Mrs Mummy Harris
I completely get this post!! I feel like I need to spend more time with Ben and make treasured memories! The photo album is such a great idea, I used to use freeprint but after about 4 months stopped… I think I might reinvest and print loads more and actually get around to making an album or a scrapbook! #fortheloveofBLOG
Malin
Oh it’s bittersweet… But I love your comittment to physical photo albums! I so loved them when I grew up, but haven’t managed to keep that tradition going… x #fortheloveofBLOG