
The Partner’s View – Mrs Mummy Harris 86
This week on my guest series – The Partner’s View I’m excited to introduce Lianne who blogs at Mrs Mummy Harris 86, and her partner Ashley. This story tells us how anxious we can be as parents-t0-be, worrying about how the baby will change the dynamic of your relationship. Not only this coupled with a difficult labour and a trip to NICU, can make for a difficult time. It’s lovely to read this positive story told by Lianne’s husband.
1. What were your thoughts and feelings leading up to the birth of your child?
Excitement, I was a bit nervous and worried I suppose. I was anxious as I wasn’t sure if we could afford a baby and all the products that you need to get for a child. I wasn’t sure if we would be good parents or if it was “us”. It had just been us two for so long that I was anxious that our dynamics would change and worried our fast lifestyle wouldn’t be able to slow down for the baby. However through all my worries, excitement shone through.
2. As a birth partner, how did you prepare for the birth?
We went to an antenatal class and spoke to my wife about what was going to happen. To be honest as a stereotypical bloke I winged it pretty much!
3. Tell us a little about your partners birth?
Ummm, it was very chaotic. Nothing went to plan and it was pretty terrible. Lianne had major issues with her back so everything she had put into her birth plan went out of the window. It made everything I had learned and been told redundant. She couldn’t sit, stand or sleep due to her constant back pain so it felt like my learning was all pointless.
The birth itself was borderline horrific and then it became frightening as when Ben was born he couldn’t breathe on his own therefore he was rushed to NICU.
4. What were you most afraid of during your partner’s birth?
Worst case? I was scared I’d lose them both. I wasn’t thinking this the whole time, but it was always at the back of my mind and when you haven’t slept for nearly 50 hours you do get pretty hysterical!
5. What was the best and most positive part of your partners birth?
Ahahahaaha none of it! In all seriousness, once we knew Ben was ok I could enjoy and relax a bit more. I’d probably say that seeing the epidural take effect was the most positive part of the whole labour as we had been through so much in 3 and a half days leading up to that, so to see Lianne in so much less pain was so relieving.
6. How did you support your partner and baby after the birth?
I tried to help as much as I could, but it was so hard as Ben was in NICU for a week and Lianne was in hospital for four days (even though she should have been in for longer). But once they were both home I tried to give as much support to her as possible and encouraged and praised how well she did during the birth and how well she was continuing to do.
7. What advice would you give to a birthing partner?
Run! No not really! Stay calm, don’t show any signs of panic regardless of what happens and try to be as supportive as possible. You’re going to feel helpless through the whole experience but try to encourage your partner and tell them how well they’re doing. Praising them might not help at the time but they’ll thank you for it later.
A bit about Lianne
Lianne is a new mum blogger aiming to show the truth behind the change from a newly-wed to a first time mum. Living in Essex, Lianne lives with her husband, Ashley, two cats (Leo and Harley) and son Benjamin. Lianne is currently on maternity leave, her blog is aiming to highlight the milestones, the sleepless nights and the ups and downs of everyday life for a new mum.
You can find Lianne here on her blog, on Twitter, and on Instagram
Thank you Lianne and Ashley for taking part in my guest series. If you would like to take part in my guest series, then just drop me an email at thepramshedblog@gmail.com
Claire x


18 Comments
Dave - dad's turn
Sounds really tough! Glad it all worked out well though. #fortheloveofblog
thetaleofmummyhood
It sounds like such a worrying time, I’m so glad everything was well in the end!
#fortheloveofBLOG
Suz
Oh, that sounds horrific. I’m so glad it all worked out in the end. I think it must be really hard for partners to feel helpless. Your series from the Partner’s point of view is really interesting.
#fortheloveofBLOG
The Pramshed
Thank you, if you would ever like to take part just drop me a line x
Ali Duke
It must have been so hard seeing your wife in pain like that and then for baby to be in NICU. I am glad everything turned out ok in the end.
#fortheloveofBLOG
Not Just Phoebe
What a lovely post, and I’m glad you stayed calm as its the best thing to do, it must have been so scary and horrible seeing her in pain like that. What a trouper 🙂 #FortheloveofBLOG
Michelle G
Oh gosh, sounds like it was pretty scary but glad that everything turned out well. I think it is often tough for the partner as often all they can do is watch on x #fortheloveofBLOG
Claire
aww bless, I know my husband felt pretty helpless, it’s lovely to hear how supportive you were afterward! x #fortheloveofblog
Sam
So glad everything turned out ok. Love the idea of this series, seeing things from the dad’s point of view. ☺
Cherry at The Newby Tribe
What a great series! Really enjoyed reading it! #fortheloveofblog
Lianne harris
Loved doing this, I really enjoyed hearing hubbys side of the story rather than my own. I even found out a few things I didn’t know as I was so out of it! #fortheloveofblog
Lucy
Sounds like a tough birth! Glad you made it through and that mum and bub are both doing ok now #ForTheLoveOfBlog
Sonia
I’m sure my hubby would agree with the ‘winging it’ part! I think the worst part must be feeling helpless in such a situation- sounds horrendous! Having to stand by and watch someone you love in pain- can’t think of anything worse. #fortheloveofBLOG
Kat
It’s so hard watching something happen to another and not being able to do much, and stay calm as well! #fortheloveofblog
Tooting Mama
I can’t imagine how hard that must have been, thinking that you might have lost your partner and child, what an experience. Every birth experience is so unique and it’s great to get an insight from the partner. Thanks so much for the series!
Helena
Thank you for sharing with us your childs birth story. It is so interesting how everyone has unique experiences. #fortheloveofblog
Becci - The UnNatural Mother
Oh i love Lianne and great to hear Ashley’s side of things. Sounds like Ashley was a good birthing partner and extremely strong when needed. Well Done #fortheloveofBLOG
Kate Orson
Sounds like a really hard experience for you both. I’m glad it all turned out alright in the end, thank goodness for epidurals! #fortheloveofBLOG