Is it wrong to feel afraid of terror? 

Today for the first time I felt afraid of terror. Living in London where there has been two terrible attacks on Westminster Bridge and at Borough Market this year hasn’t really unnerved me, although I carried on my daily life with it in the back of my mind. But today sitting in one of the bustling squares in Valencia in Spain I actually felt afraid of what could happen.

As we sat there eating our breakfast I noticed an ever increasing police presence in the square next to the cathedral. These were police with big guns and that’s a good thing after the atrocities in Barcelona just a couple of weeks ago. It was during our walk to get a taxi that we saw a strategically placed police car blocking off a pedestrianised area, presumably to stop any nutcase who wanted to drive down it at speed.

But that didn’t stop me from feeling afraid, in fact I should have felt safer. However I felt anxious to get out of the area and begin our day at Oceanographic (a huge sea life aquarium) outside the city centre. It feels wrong to feel like that, we were on holiday, the sun was shining, and it was a happy environment, but I actually felt a slight fear.

Is this what our world has come to now? In cities with big popular touristy hot spots will there always be an increased police presence, with roadblocks, and blocks on bridges as there are now in London. Will I constantly be looking over my shoulder, or worrying what might happen.

I guess that this is just the world we live in now, and one day I just hope that we no longer need to live in fear of what could happen.

I worry about the world now that I have a daughter, and how bad it could get. She’s too young to understand, but I dread the day she hears another awful story on the news or asks ‘Mummy what’s that all about’.

What I do know is that we need to lead a normal life, and not worry. We need to go about our daily business and lives just as we did. We can’t keep ourselves wrapped up in cotton wall and stay inside. We need to show them that we are not afraid, but that doesn’t stop a little part of me feeling scared or worried whenever I go into London, or step onto the tube, or visit anywhere that is crowded such as events, concerts and museums.

One day I hope the world will be a safer place…..

How do you feel about terror? Do you ignore it and carry on, or do you feel an underlying nervousness like me especially now you have children?

Claire x

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