10 things you can say and do for a new parent
As a new parent we are always looking for words of advice or things to make our lives a little easier. We are tired, exhausted, overwhelmed and have no idea what we are doing with a new born baby, the last thing that we want to hear are other’s opinions forced onto our sleep deprived brains. So instead of asking questions about sleep habits and whether they are breastfeeding or bottle feeding (as it really doesn’t matter), here’s what every new parent wants to see or hear.
Sit down and let me make you a cup of tea
These are words to any new parent’s ears. If you are visiting them after the baby arrives, then make sure it is you who is making the tea, and not them.
How are you?
When people become a parent they tend to get forgotten about as all the focus is now on the baby. One of the most simple questions you can ask any new parent is “How are you?”. This will be hugely appreciated, and they may also really welcome the conversation.
I bought you round a home made lasagne
If you are the person bringing round the home made lasagne or any other dish, these new parents will love you. Buying food and cooking will be the last thing on a new mum’s mind. But you can make sure that she is eating well by taking food round to her that she only needs to heat up.
Let me look after the baby whilst you have a shower
Hooray! If you offer to do this you will make a new mum very happy. It may have been a few days since she last washed her hair. And, she is desperate to feel clean after the night sweats and leaky boobs. So offer to watch the baby for 30 minutes whilst she has that much needed shower.
Have a nap whilst I watch the baby
The term “sleep when the baby sleeps” just doesn’t work on a new parent, who instead will be wanting to do the washing or a million other things that they need to do. Whilst the baby is awake, let them have a nap. Then when the baby does sleep, they are feeling refreshed to do one of the million things that they do need to do.
Trust your instincts
There is so much advice on Google, and other people will happily pass on their own. However they shouldn’t let that advice cloud their own judgement. Let them know it is really important that they listen to their instincts and trust their gut feeling, especially if they think that something is wrong.
Where’s your cleaning stuff and I’ll give your bathroom a clean
Hallelujah! Any new parent will love you for this. Or they will love you if you offered to do any household chores. Having a clean house will be a huge relief for them, and another thing that they do not need to worry about.
I have brought you steak, brie and red wine
These are things that any pregnant lady should refrain from during pregnancy. However once the baby is here they will most likely be dreaming of eating and drinking what they couldn’t eat or drink during pregnancy. To make a new mum really happy, pop round and offer to cook her up a feast and share a glass of wine or two with her.
It takes time to bond with your baby
This is a great piece of advice to give to any new parent who may feel that they should know their baby as soon as it emerges from the womb. However it takes time to get to know their personality traits and to get used to their own baby crying, wants and needs.
Lastly, you are doing great!
A new parent may not feel like they are whilst they are dealing with sleepless nights, endless feeding and nappy changes. But those 4 little words “You are doing great” will make a huge difference and hopefully bring a smile to their face.
So those are 10 things that you can say to any new parent, and I’m sure that if you do they will really appreciate it. Becoming a new parent is hard work, and often seen as never-ending or never getting any better. However some kind works and the offer of help or food will be gratefully received.
Claire x
18 Comments
Daydreams of a mum
Great post. I think “how are you?” is so important. It’s nice to feel like you’re cared about with most questions revolving around the baby #fortheloveofBLOG
Daydreams of a mum
Great post. I think “how are you?” is so important. It’s nice to feel like you’re cared about with most questions revolving around the baby #fortheloveofBLOG
Morgan Prince
I love this Claire, it’s such good advice. I remember when my friends had babies and I would often focus on them (as well as baby, obvs!) because I found that when I had my boys everyone focussed on the babies and I felt lost and alone. It’s so important to be there for the new parents and this is brilliant advice. 🙂
#fortheloveofblog
Tubbs
As well as focusing on the parents, the older sibling needs a bit of love. They can become invisible and might feel a bit put out
Michelle | The Willow Tree
Hell yes to the homemade lasagne!!!! And i think its always so nice when someone else makes you a cup of tea! Some great advice here! #fortheloveofblog
Sara @ Magical Mama Blog
Fabulous post! I adore the ideas of steak, brie & wine and let me do something for you! I was gestational diabetic and eating some cinnamon rolls and donuts was all that I was craving and it was on my mind for months. All of my friends knew about it and brought me basket loads of them!
That first few weeks at home is taxing and everyone wants and needs different things!
#fortheloveofblog
Tracy Albiero
The doing great part is important. So many think they are failing1 #fortheloveofblog
This Scribbler Mum
Great post! Can’t go wrong with these. Have the common sense to be helpful rather than be stressful. #fortheloveofblog
Kayleigh (Mini Human Resources)
So true, especially the offering to watch the baby so mum can nap. I would have loved this! Oh and the homemade food. My friend came over on day 2 with a come made cottage pie and I swear I could have kissed her (I think I actually did) #fortheloveofBLOG
Jennie
I can identify with so many of these! Roo is almost 1 now – but the whole sleep when the baby sleeps is just a load tosh – when else can you get stuff done LOL.
Great post 🙂
Best wishes, Jennie xx
#fortheloveofBLOG
Willow
Homemade lasagne sounds like my kind of thing! But I agree with this post so much, lots of attention and baba (and rightly so to a certain extent) and not much on mama. I’m so lucky I had my mum with both my kids to help me out for a couple of weeks. But a few visitors could of done with reading this! #fortheloveofBlOG
Noleen Miller
Great helpful tips on how to assist new parents – just that little bit of help will do wonders #fortheloveofblog
lucy mackcracken
some lovely ideas here, I am expecting baby number 2 in November and I’d love someone to bring me a homemade lasagne 🙂 #fortheloveofblog
Ali Duke
All of these are perfect for new parents! I know some people aren’t quite sure how to help out new parents, this list will definitely help x
#fortheloveofBLOG
Rachel | Kids, Cuddles and Muddy Puddles
Steak, Brie and red wine… love it! But you’ve totally hit the nail on the head! These are all the things any new parent should hear… that and “let me have your shopping list, I’ll pop out and get it for you.” #fortheloveofBLOG
Sam - Serenely Sam
Fab post and great advice. Obviously, a lot of the focus is on the baby but even asking how a new parent is can go a long way. I would have loved for someone to come and clean my bathroom or bring me a lasagne. #fortheloveofBLOG
Helena
These are wonderful suggestions. I agree that as a mum you want to do everything perfectly and your mind is too active to sleep while baby does. #fortheloveofBLOG
Mum OverRun. Sarah Aslett
YES – BRING FOOD – BRING FOOD PEOPLE! Even if it’s not a whole meal, just a packets of biscuits or bread and milk is so helpful. Also know when to go away – don’t stay longer than 1/2 hour ! #FORTHELOVEOFBLOG