This week on my Parents in Business series I’m featuring Pinky who created her own mindset consultancy business; Mindset by Pinky after experiencing what I can only describe as a harrowing time after having her son.
Here Pinky shares her very honest and moving story about the early days of motherhood, her divorce, depression, anxiety, and just how lonely motherhood can actually be. All of these thing eventually accumulated for the better and drove Pinky to the person that she is today and led to her setting up the business to help other mums who are experiencing the same thing.
I found this is a difficult story to read because I have no idea just how hard it could have been, but the positives that have come from it are huge. So please all do have a read….
Tell me a little bit about you, your background, and your business?
Like many of you I started off life quite well, despite being told I was shy yet intelligent, I knew my parents loved me and were proud of me. Somewhere in my teens I become insecure, self-conscious and lacking in confidence. I went to university and read Optometry. Then I met someone and I was married for 5 years in my 20s in which time I built a house, bought a biz and had a son. I divorced my abusive husband 2 weeks after my son was born and became a single parent, moved house several times in 1 year with my then 1 year old which was a very difficult time for me.
Life had slapped me on my face- hard, which broke me and then I had to pick up the pieces. I lost all of my confidence and my identity after giving birth and going through my divorce. I was scared and I felt betrayed and lonely. I decided to move to Edinburgh when my son was 18 months old because I wanted to start a new, happy life for us. So, I found a job, moved flats 3 times in 1 year, had no friends or family to help or support us here in Edinburgh. I remember it clearly as the darkest, loneliest and scariest times of my life.
However, I learned so much from it, about myself and life in general.
Sometimes things don’t work out the way you expect. I am not that person now. Some of you may know those feelings of self-doubt and lack of confidence through fear. Fear can be debilitating. At that time, I felt I was the only one who was going through this which made it worse. I think all mums go through this feeling of lack of confidence and feeling alone at some stage. Which is why I am passionate about helping mums who have been through a time where they have lost their confidence and lost their true authentic selves along their way, which is why I set up Mindset by Pinky.
We change ourselves for 1 of 2 reasons inspiration or desperation. I changed for desperation at first then inspiration. I was no quitter and I was ready to make a difference. That was 11 years ago and since that time I have been in my never-ending pursuit of self-care, self-belief and self-learning. Going through the divorce with my 2-week-old son was no easy task. It was a steep learning curve and a big life lesson for me. Instead of focusing on what I am getting out of life, I decided to change my purpose into what am I becoming? To have more than what I have, I had to become more than what I was. If I didn’t have the resilience to get through the bullying, emotional and physical abuse of my previous relationship, I would not be where I am today. When you view your situation, and use it to catapult you to greater heights, that’s when the magic happens. ‘Everything you seek is within you’- Louise Hay.
It is odd to look back at the person I was then because it’s like I was a different person. I can’t even the recognise the person I was. Having gone from feeling like I was never enough to being more than happy with who I am. It is an amazing feeling which is what I want for every single one of you.
What were your motivations for setting up your business?
My reason for helping other parents (especially mums) with my mindset consulting comes down to how lonely and under confident I felt when I started my entrepreneurial journey and how difficult it is being a mum, chef, housekeeper, PA, and much more!
I decided to help women who are in a similar situation because I get it. I was there once too.
Motherhood is a happy yet difficult time for many ambitious women for many reasons. Mainly because you don’t know what to expect and you are in unfamiliar territory. All of us, no matter how experienced or accomplished we may be, have fears that can hold us back. It’s part of our shared humanity. I empower and coach women through that experience, to feel more confident about themselves, to struggle less. True inner confidence is about really loving yourself and feeling great about who you are and everything will fall into place. No matter where you are now, there is always another level to reach, and to raise the bar you need to stay laser focused on your objectives, whether those goals are career, business or personal. The best thing about making mindset changes is that it is quick easy and painless. By making small simple steps but the benefits are huge and life changing.
Since setting up your business what has been your biggest success to date?
I founded WiNE (women in networking Edinburgh) in September 2015, with the main purpose of creating a support network online for women, especially mums who are new to the ‘back to work role’ or entered the ‘entrepreneurial world.’ The monthly face to face meet-ups have been a great success which creates a space to help empower, support and collaborate with ambitious like-minded women. It is amazing to see so many great women out there raising the bar and killing it! Combined on FB between Edinburgh and Glasgow FB and the meet-up group, there are more than 2500 inspiring ladies within the groups and growing.
I help women create your killer mindset to be more successful and confident in life. My passion is to help as many people as possible become more confident and create an impact. I am on a mission. And my why is my family, my beautiful son. I feel like I finally have a purpose in my life, it only took 40 years but I am so grateful to be here and doing what I am passionate about
If you like what you’re reading and would love to be part of my Parents in Business series just drop me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Or have a nose at some of the other businesses I have featured in the series: Kingshill Studios, Super Mum Society, and Christine Gouchault