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The curse of the video monitor

We spent a lot of time deciding on which baby monitor to purchase, I decided that creeping up the stairs to check if our little one was awake, asleep, crying etc needed to stop, so we looked into the different monitors on the market. There are a lot – audio ones, visual ones, and ones that monitor breathing. In the end we opted for the BT 7500 video monitor.

It has some really good features on over and above the screen. 1) It plays music – a wide variety from Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to some classical numbers. 2) It plays white noise, womb noises, hair dryer noises, whale music and loads more. 4) It also has a light show projecting stars on the ceiling – this helps to buy you time in the morning, and 5) it displays the temperature of the room.

But, it has made me paranoid.

The thing with having a video monitor is once our little one is settled, and I’m back downstairs with my dinner and TV for the evening, I seem to spend the entire time watching the baby monitor. Every slight noise or bit of movement from the monitor makes me jump, and I watch it until our little one settles back down or wakes up needing me. I can’t seem to concentrate on anything else apart from watching the video monitor.

At night time it is worse, the monitor is next to me with it’s glowing screen. I drop off to sleep, ooh what’s that a noise from the baby monitor I hear. I open my eyes she’s still sleeping. This goes on and on, until I eventually drop off to sleep.

When baby wakes at night for a feed, and I resettle her, I then spend a couple of minutes watching the video monitor until I know she’s asleep.

Would it be better if I just had an audio monitor – I don’t know. I would probably spend all my time with both ears on it.

Does anyone else have this problem?

Don’t get me wrong the video monitor is fantastic is allows me to check little one is ok, that she’s not on her belly, that she’s not in an awkward position, or when she’s awake that she is happy in her cot. But it also makes me a paranoid Mum who is stalking her baby. She’s asleep right now and I have one eye typing this, and another on the monitor. For now I have turned off the screen.

Thanks for reading, be great to hear that I am not alone.

Claire x

Proudly linking up with #KCACOLS #MarvMondays and #BigPinkLink

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43 Comments

  • debsrandomwritings

    Hi Claire, back when my two were small there were only audio monitors available, but I would have been exactly the same as you, so I am glad they weren’t around then. I remember myself every time I heard a whimper and even though I held back from charging in at every cry (unless it was desperate, I found it hard to relax.

    At least you can turn it off.

    xx

    • The Pramshed

      I know what you mean it is hard to relax with one eye and ear always on the monitor, but yes you can just turn it off and she is only across the hall. Thank you for reading and sharing Debs. Claire x

  • Emma Jones

    I would never the same & couldn’t use one. I used an audio monitor for a while but got rid of that too as every snuffle had me waking up. Do what you think is best & don’t worry I’m sure you little one is fine. #kcacols lifeinthemumslane

    • The Pramshed

      Hi Emma, thanks for reading and for your comment. We could probably live without one but I would constantly be up and down the stairs checking if she was ok. Now that she is bigger I know that she would be fine, but in the early days when we moved her out of our room before 6 months it was great. All is well currently she’s asleep. Claire x

  • Coombe Mill

    I never used any monitors after my first child, when they cried loudly enough they woke me up anyway, I’d have been awake all night with a video monitor. I can see how now they have been invented you’d feel the need to use it though #KALCOS

    • The Pramshed

      Yes now that they are around I do feel the need to use it, it is definitely useful I can watch her with piece of mind, but it is a bit annoying. Thanks for reading and commenting. Claire x

  • beautybabyandme

    Oh hun you are so not alone!! We have an angel care monitor but clever hubby also set up a portable video monitor with a web cam! I too am guilty of constantly watching and listening out – it’s quite ironic cause in the day I’m good at leaving Josh to gurgle to himself and get himself to sleep but when it’s night I seem to be so much more on edge! It’s all part of being a mummy hun don’t beat yourself up over it xx #KCACOLS

    • The Pramshed

      It’s so hard not to watch it, isn’t it! Again I’ve got one eye on this and the other on the monitor, but so far little one is sleeping. It has it’s bonuses in that you can watch up and know exactly what they are up to, it might have it’s uses once they are older. Thanks for reading and commenting. Claire x

  • Kat

    I feel for you here with all the fear that’s installed in new parents you want to watch them constantly so a video monitor sounds like a great idea as you can check on them at any time but I think I would just be constantly watching it too. #KCACOLS

    • The Pramshed

      Yes I am constantly watching it, more so in the early days when we moved her into her own room before 6 months. Though I’m still watching it to make sure she’s not stuck on her belly. Thanks for reading and commenting. Claire x

  • Educating Roversi

    This was the exact reason why I didn’t get a video monitor. The audio one was brilliant because it only picked up major sound now every little snuffle he made. I don’t think I’d ever have a video monitor or one with the pad either. #KCACOLS

  • crummymummy1

    We never had a video monitor for the reasons you mention – I knew I’d spend all my time watching it!! That said we live in a flat so they’ve only ever been in the next room… #KCACOLS

  • Jules

    I can imagine I’ll be just the same as you when our little one arrives – I’m easily paranoid! I imagine given time you will become less sensitive to it as you’ll learn that most of the time baby is just fine (I hope!). Would you recommend the monitor you’ve purchased? This is something we haven’t bought yet. Jules x #KCACOLS

    • The Pramshed

      Yes I would definitely recommend it, so easy and intuitive to use. It is a little pricey but worth it. We didn’t get it straight away, only when we moved our little one into her own room at 3 months (she was too big for her moses basket and needed to go into her own cot), it was a lifesaver for me being able to see her without creeping up the stairs all the time. Let us know what you purchase. Claire x

  • tammymum

    Oh I know the feeling I was obsessed with the monitor and every slight noise but at the same time it stopped me having to get out of bed and look at her all the time, which I would of done! Double edged sword I think but ultimately I’m pro the video – but I like my bed lol xx #KCACOLS

    • The Pramshed

      Yes at first I was getting out of bed all the time with the slightly noise, running into the room too soon. Now I have got used to what is a noise, what is a cry that going to disappear, and when she needs me. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Claire x

  • naturemumwales

    With our first born we had audio monitors but I lived in an old bungalow where you could hear the faintest noise. I think if I had this video monitors I would have stayed awake watching too! With our second we don’t even use a monitor even though we are in a large house. She stayed with me 24/7 until 7 months and then went in with her brother so if she wakes so does he and I go straight up. I hope you get some sleep soon #KCACOLS

  • queenofmycastlesite

    I used a monitor for my first. I didn’t like the wait made me paranoid and too focussed on every little noise or crackle. I haven’t used a monitor with he other three. The benefit of becoming a mother is super-hearing. 🙂

    • The Pramshed

      I agree with that! I accidently had the sound off for about an hour last night, but I can hear her she’s just across the hall. Think doing that made for a better sleep. Thanks for reading and commenting. Claire x

  • Claire at Tin Box Traveller

    Your monitor sounds like it does everything but make you a cuppa in the morning! I couldn’t get on with a video monitor. Audio has done just fine for both of ours, although we did get one with a sensor mat that we used for the first six months so we knew they were breathing. Thanks for linking up with us on #KCACOLS and I hope you can come back again next week x

  • Angela Watling

    We’ve had a video monitor since our LO was born. I went through a stage of quite obsessively watching her. But after a recent ‘incident’ with our monitor (a slightly shameless plug of my blog, but I recorded the whole stressful event here: http://www.angelajwatling.com/wpblog/parenting/the-untimely-demise-of-the-baby-monitor/) I self-imposed a rule: the monitor is always left on the bookcase in the lounge so I can hear her if she cries but means I only go and turn the screen on if I need to work out if intervention is really necessary.

    I tried sleeping overnight without it but actually found I slept worse. My daughter isn’t in the room next to us and we like to sleep with our door closed. So I slept badly because I was subconsciously anxious I wouldn’t wake up. When I went back to having the screen off and the volume on it’s lowest setting, I slept soundly again. I only turn the screen on in the night if she’s making noise and I need to work out if she actually needs me or if she’s just making a racket!

    If you like the video monitor then don’t feel bad about checking it. But it’s easy to fall into bad habits. So just figure out some ways of using it that stop you becoming addicted (such as keeping it just out of arms-reach so you have to move to check it) but still mean you feel comfortable you can see and hear your baby!

    • The Pramshed

      Ah I like this advice to have the screen off, I’ve started doing this at night now so that I’m not constantly watching it and also so I get a better sleep too. Last night I accidently had the sound off for a while, but we can hear her as shes only across the hall. I will check out your blog post too. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and comment. Claire x

  • Kaye

    I know exactly what you’re saying but I couldn’t have lived without mine as a new Mum, I also had one of those mats to check A was still breathing, super paranoid! Though I lost a brother to SADS so I’ve always been a little more worried than the norm. Now A is 2 though, we just use an audio monitor but I’m not sure how I’ll cope with that once the new baby arrives! I like to think I’d be ok, but I think I’ll be dashing for a new video monitor soon. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    • The Pramshed

      I know what you mean about getting them when you’re a new mum and you don’t know any different. Sorry to hear that of your brother that must make you super paranoid. I would just get what feels right, I’ve started to turn the screen off now so effectively using it as an audio monitor which is helping me sleep a little better and making me less paranoid. I’ll be back next week for #MarvMondays. Claire x

  • Not A Frumpy Mum

    I think I’d be exactly the same with a video monitor, constantly watching. One of the reasons I love our Angelcare sensor monitor is that it is so reassuring to know they are breathing safely, but I don’t feel compelled to watch it constantly! xx #MarvMondays

  • Pink Pear Bear (@pinkpearbear)

    I’m so glad we never invested in a video monitor, or a sensor mat one, for the very reasons you describe! We went through so many monitors that I really hated them! I think we gave up on them altogether for our second. He was always with us anyway, damn reflux, now they are 5 and 3, we can hear them loud and clear from any part of the house. Noisy things! 😉 Thanks so much for linking up, (are you reading this with one eye on the screen?) 😉 #bigpinklink

    • The Pramshed

      Ha ha I’m reading this with one eye on the baby rolling around on the floor. Naked non nappy time! I’ve heard that a lot for the second baby you just rely on instinct. I’ve started to turn the screen off now since writing my post and I’m less paranoid with more sleep. I even slept last night with the sound off accidently oops, but she is only across the hall so very easy to hear. I’ll be back next week for #bigpinklink. Claire x

  • Kerry

    Yes I was always paranoid and starred at mine, but it did mean I was relaxed enough to go in the garden for a few hours in the evening when they were small armed with my monitor!

    • The Pramshed

      Ahh I like your thinking especially now the evenings are drawing out, I’m imagining sitting outside with a wine or two. Thanks for reading and commenting hun. Claire x

  • babiesbiscuitsandbooze

    I would definitely have been like this with a video monitor! We have an audio one, to be honest we hardly ever use it as he’s still in our room and rarely goes to sleep properly before we go to bed but it’s good. It doesn’t pick up every little sound only actual crying/louder noises. #bigpinklink

    • The Pramshed

      That’s good it only picks up the louder noises, ours picks up every movement snuffle. I’ve started to turn the screen off so it’s more of an audio monitor now. Thanks for reading hun. Claire x

  • Silly Mummy

    Spent ages trying to decide whether to go for video monitor or not – didn’t in the end precisely because I thought I would do this and watch it all the time! Useful not to have to go in to the room & risk waking them to see them though. We did use motion detectors until they were about a year though. #KCACOLS

    • The Pramshed

      Thank you for reading, I’ve started to turn the screen off now so only using it an audio monitor which is working out so much better. They have there pluses and minuses, but couldn’t live without one. I do still have a peep in the room to make sure she is breathing #paranoidmum. Thanks for reading and commenting. Claire x

  • A Moment with Franca

    I didn’t spend any minute deciding if I wanted a video or an audio monitor. I went straight for the video as I was sure I needed to find something that will allow me to see my baby happily sleeping!! To be honest you are more obsessed when they are little but then you just get used to it. Also I don’t go and settle Sienna every time that she cries. I let her cry until she settles herself. I think I kind of know when I need to go and when I don’t need to go. Regarding the position of your baby, I must admit that Sienna sleeps on her tummy since she was 2 months. There weren’t any other way to settle her and she has colics so that position for her was the best and more comfortable so when she was very little I used to check on her very often and that was until she started crawling so the risk is less. She is just a tummy sleeper!! Nothing I could’ve changed. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

    • The Pramshed

      A video monitor is brilliant, and I’ve now started turning the screen off at night. I’ve also taken your advice and not dashing in the moment I hear crying, I found last night she actually settled herself back to sleep a few times, in an awkward position with her head wedge into the corner of the cot – but I think she likes it. She now can roll, so I’m not worried about her getting stuck. She’ll let me know if she needs me. I’ll be back next Sunday for #KCACOLS xx

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